Hello everyone. It has been a while since I do a blog post. I have been under the weather a bit. Mostly mentally and emotionally. I do everything in my power to avoid the blues, but as soon as Thanksgiving starts getting closer everything jumps to another level of stress and anguish. It’s that time again –the holidays– dreaded holidays for me. You might be asking “Why?” I know it shouldn’t be dreaded, “
it the most wonderful time of the year” but, in my little world— I do not look forward to this time of the year.
I do cover it up well, I’m a mom, I do it for my children. I don’t need to show that side and those feelings to my kids.
And I know I’m not alone on this, the holidays are hard for many of us.
I know this time of year should be joyful, and family time. The thing is, it’s so commercialized, over-priced, and so overrated, that is not true for so many that can relate to me, when times are suppose to be good and they’re are not.
- I feel the pressure of the top Christmas gift list, the wants for the toys, electronics and devices of the year … why? I can’t even afford other stuff.
- Just looking at the price tags on most of this stuff, makes me want to hurl… how? Financially, in short– we’re poor, it scares me that I can’t even put socks as a present under the tree for my kids.
- Joyful, wonderful Christmas, and family time…uggh?! get-together s with family, become drama, criticism, who’s better than who, who cooks better, and who got the best presents. The true meaning of Christmas is gone, and instead there’s the greed for the best presents. I can’t afford them…and they look at you funny and with pity for it.
I already feel nauseous just to think about it– everyday I feel stress, overwhelm, anguish and sadness. I do not look forward to it…all I want for Christmas is to be able to afford a couple of nice gifts (I pray that I do, my kids deserve it), a nice Christmas meal, and most importantly to have a pleasant, peaceful and silent night (literally) with my kids, just us, what better.
At times, I wish I could just skip it all, just to go to sleep, and then wake up on the first day of the new year.
Your prayers are very welcome. Here is for HOPE that wishes come true. And for everyone of you that can relate, I’ll be thinking of you too.
Blessings to all ❤