I was reading online about the Mid-Life Crisis on 40-year-old women. I’m a couple of weeks away of my birthday, and suddenly I was relating to what I was reading; is it true that when you get to this phase in life you come to a pause and reflection time, like reaching this stage in life and asking yourself…
Do we want to continue living as we have been until now, with what is left of our lives?
I believe I’m beginning to live that crisis. Maybe now I understand the reason behind my wish of, and the creation of this blog. I have arrive to the middle of my life.
Could that be the reason that I’m beginning to feel like I need to make a change… in my life… on myself. I feel like I’m going in circles, round and round, and I’m afraid of letting go, and falling.
It’s like being motionless, as if there is another woman inside me that wants to come out, wants to scream, laugh, play, dance, cry… but a cry of joy.
I sense there are places waiting for me and things I must do…
I read real stories of women that have gone through this mid-life crisis, who were brave enough to make changes, and found their true path to the life they had to live, not the life that was presented by their life circumstances. They found their “true north.”
How I crave having that confidence, and courage to look for and find the peace that only life grants you, when you’re living what truly makes you be a real woman.
I want to be like them… I count on that in a couple more years, I’ll be able to write that I was brave and did it… that I found my “true north.” That I found that woman who is still inside longing to come out and live a full life.
I feel so mediocre, realizing that I have lived… without really living.
I’m confused, by these emotions that I’m beginning to feel.
I feel frightened of not being ready enough to rethink my life, and not being brave to renew the life I really wish to live.
I’m scare, yes… scare of making a mistake, and failing.
A Mark of my Own 