family, lifestyle

Condemn…

I’ll write my warning and apologies right now, because lately, I know, is all about ranting; but I just can’t sit here with all this pile of emotions, I need an outlet, and my blog gives me that; my apologies if my latest posts have not been to y’all’s liking. I understand.


Today I had enough, I burst out in angry and disappointing tears. I just can’t seem to be good enough for everybody else (referring to family and friends). The forsaken unanswered phone calls, that sometimes do happen, seem to have condemn me. There is moments or days in your life when you’re truly unavailable to answer or pick up the phone, regardless of what your life is or looks like, is your life and it keeps you busy… or simply your phone service is trying to be funny and there is no missed calls, or did not hear your phone ringing?! I for one, will not be a complete temperamental jerk or asshole about it, because my phone calls went unanswered. Is not on me to do that, I have no right, regardless of what your life is or not, and the reason… is yours and only yours, I should always be respectful regardless, and not a needy, delusions of grandeur, or a king of england ego about it. Most times than not, is not an emergency, or a bloody murder case or life or death, so that unanswered phone call, sorry but not sorry is not fucking fatal!

Everybody else doesn’t seem to agree with my views, and when I call back… most times right back… I only get attack, they’re total assholes about it?! They make me feel less than, and shame me for it. They make me feel like I always have to defend myself or explain myself to them. I shouldn’t have to do that, or apologize either? Why? I don’t do that nonsense to them or anybody for that matter, why should I?? Like I said earlier, nothing gives me that right! But, seems like they do have that right, now many times I just sit in silence while on the phone taking all their bullshit, because saying anything or nothing at all, or standing up for myself is not going to change a thing. I’m so exhausted with it, they’re sucking my good energy and vibes.

A wise old man once said to me, while shopping around in the supermarket I worked at, and while he’s cell phone was ringing …

Nobody ever said phones were meant to be answered. This very moment is important to me, so I’m not answering this phone, and they better not give me crap about it. I shouldn’t have to defend my life because of an unanswered phone call.

He was totally right, I never forgot it, and today what that old wise man said has so much more significance.

If you can relate, would like it very much if you leave a comment below. Have a wonderful weekend.